not sure...

this could be just a long ramble of stuff... so i apologize ahead of time for my lack of grammatical corrections and choppiness.

christmas just happened, before that was thanksgiving... i was so grateful to be able to spend thanksgiving with my family in oklahoma. and it was GREAT! we hung out inside most of the time, i hung out inside on the couch most of the time... watching football, which i didn't realize how much i missed until then... i also have been craving television ever since. i don't have a tv at home, and now plan on buying one in the near future... they say it's not good for babies under two to watch it, but oops, she (kinley) might just end up getting some tv time in. sat on the couch and snuggled with lady, my first child of sorts. i was heartbroken when she didn't instantly attach herself to me upon arriving at the airport... and was confused when she didn't even want to sit on my lap in the car! but all that was forgotten when i opened the door from the bathroom to see her waiting patiently for me to come out... she didn't forget me afterall :)

my 7 month pregnant self traveled during the holidays alone, successfully through two airports, and arrived safely. I spent the next five days with my parents, brother and aunt and uncle. Also got to spend time with other relatives during my stay. family is an amazing thing isn't it? the dynamics are so unique in each one, and there is so much comfort there.

of course i ate my full load of turkey dinner, and surprisingly hadn't gained one pound in between my doctor visits. They are two weeks apart now, so I should have gained at least 2, but i think because i had gained 6 (!?) at my last one, my growth spurt had been used up...

speaking of weight gain, belly is getting so big now! i was always optimistic about avoiding discomfort in the last trimester of carrying this little girl, but i am not anymore... getting comfortable in any position (sitting, laying, standing, squatting, hand standing... not really :P) is possible for about 5 minutes... sleep comes with much effort and lasts maybe 3 hours if i'm lucky. and man does she like to move! there are times that she moves so much and so strongly that it actually tickles, and i find my self giggling awkwardly. pregnancy is such a strange, blessed time of life.

shortly after, christmas arrived... just before that my mother arrived. i just love the slo airport. you can watch the plane land, wave to the expected passenger as they exit and 5 minutes later be in your car heading to the beach for a nice sunset walk... and yes that's exactly how it happened :) having my mother here was a blessing. we have our difficulties, like most mother/daughters do, but i wouldn't have had christmas any other way. the day after she arrived i had my ultrasound appt.......

oh that damn ultrasound appt... it has brought about a lot of stress, tears and fear. there are a couple things that weren't "normal", the doctor spent much more time than expected checking things out. i won't go into detail for the sake of keeping private matters private, but if you are a praying person, i would like to ask for your prayers. over kinley first and foremost then over myself. as of today, she is a healthy beautiful little girl, who looks as though she's ready to greet the world with her already chubby cheeks and little pouty mouth. i will need to go in more frequently for tests and such, so i'll keep you all posted... another opportunity to build my trust in the lord. my faith has not wavered, my trust is gaining strength daily and i know in my heart that he is always in control. his plans are so much greater than our own. and he loves us with a love that is beyond comprehension.

that little girl is amazing, she has been such a blessing in my life and i've learned so much from her already. being her mother is going to be the most amazing opportunity that i've ever been given.

it's dec. 29th... the new year of 2012 is right around the corner... i can't believe 2011 is almost over. i can for sure say that this has been the most incredible and eventful year of my entire life so far... wondering what is in store for the following.

Merry Christmas everyone, i hope your time spent with family and celebrating the birth of our savior was satisfying.

Happy New Year as well... don't take one day for granted, and really live your life... there is SO much joy out there to be had.

some time has passed... a lot of things have changed...

I used to say that everything happens for a reason... well I still say that... and live my life by that saying. If I didn't full heartedly believe that God had a hand in everything, whether it be to pick up the pieces and make anew or to surprise with something beyond my own dreams, I wouldn't be able to live the day to day without complaints and bitterness.
Last I wrote I was in Thailand... wait let me say that again, for my own sake... not yours... I was in THAILAND. Writing about bugs, running through ricefields, strange cars, awesome people, fresh coconuts, adventures and life fully lived. Now I write back in America, in my office at San Luis Obispo High School. It's been almost 5 months...
Thailand was like a dream. I've never felt so alive, so free to laugh and eager to play. I discovered something new everday there. I think back on it and wonder how such an amazing time in my life wasn't a dream. There are so many things that I miss from that month: I miss waking up early, staying up late and filling the day to the brim. I miss the thai people and their gentle nature. How they could make you feel so loved without even knowing you. How they didn't hesitate to spend time and make others a priority. I miss playing card games, ping-pong, throwing birthday parties and eating meals in the sala. I miss the "cold room" and the dramatics that went on amongst our small group of staff. I miss playing jokes on people, and still being able to laugh when it went too far. I miss giving ryan a hard time for being so energetic and loud on that damn speaker phone! I miss meeting new students every week and loving them more than the last group (which I could have sworn every week was impossible). I miss riding in sung-taos, hanging on the back enjoying the views. I really miss 4 dollar massages. Thai tea, thai donuts, papaya face masks, drinks in a bag, cuddle puddles, geckos on the wall, capture the flag, ploy, caitlin, ty ty, evan, d-val, stu, sarah, brent.... it would be so great to go back.
So why did I leave then... I'm sure if you're reading this you'll already know, but for the sake of the story I'll recap :)
The end of June presented itself with too much worry about my lady things not happening... so I got a pregnancy test (sure it couldn't be positive) to just make sure... The next morning was a Thursday. Send off/Welcome day. I woke up at 6am, since I unintentionally became the leader to take students to feed the monks in the morning before they had their send off party. 6am, had to pee, had to pee on a stick.... said an intense prayer, opened my eyes, quickly shut my eyes, said an even more serious prayer (Lord this isn't funny, please open my eyes to see reality), opened my eyes again to what I couldn't deny was two very thick, pink lines... wait maybe two meant negative??? Nope... 6:30 I gained the strength to wipe my tears, walk out of the bathroom and hunt down my dear friend ploy... what would i have done without her? I don't know why I'm asking you because I can't even answer that question myself...
We walked, talked and decided to go to the hospital. She was supposed to be leaving for her trips that day, but was able to leave a little later so that she could go with me to the hospital. Again, another positive test... Thai people get very excited for pregnancy, so the lady that presented the test results was glowing... I wasn't and ploy kindly told her that it wasn't a good time to be happy... that situation makes me laugh now.
The RP staff was very understanding and helped me book an early flight home. Saturday, June 2 I headed home.
I spent the next month in Santa Monica with another good friend. This was such a good time for me to gather my thoughts and start planning for this crazy adventure I got myself into. I was able to reconnect with some special people in my life and reset my eating habits.
I moved into my apartment on July 27th... and another whirlwind was about to hit...
The dream job I had talked up all summer was about to be pulled out from under me. This dream job was a part time teaching, part time athletic training position at the high school I worked at for 2 years. I developed deep relationships with students, teachers and parents there. I invested myself and loved that school so much. I was insanely excited to get started... One meeting later, that was all put on hold... I was switched to the other local high school for the athletic training gig, and the teaching position was no longer being offered to me.
Leaving my mornings wide open, I needed another part time job... and this amazing barista job opened up. So now I'm working in the mornings at Joe Momma's where I take my breaks on the sand, and the afternoons at the public high school where I've met some really amazing students and coaches! I hate to say it, but I'm loving it here, and am so glad that God had guided me in this direction... He's starting to make anew.
So now I'm 7 months pregnant, love my job, feel my little girl kick and get anxious to meet her bouncy self and am closer to understanding what it means to truely trust in God than I have ever been in my life. This time of trial has been intense, no doubt, but seeing the way things work together for good only reassures my belief that everything happens for a reason... and that God has plan far beyond my understanding. I find so much joy in knowing that down the road something miraculous is going to happen, and I pray everyday that it happens to or because of my little one.
I'll end this long post of an update with things that I'm thankful for... fitting for november.
Thankful for my life, for the new life inside of me and for health. I'm thankful for the amazing city I get to live in, the apartment that I'm able to sleep in, the people that I meet every day. I'm thankful for my friends, all of their love and encouragement... mostly their lighthearts and sillyness. I'm thankful for my family, family is so special. I'm thankful for my job and the students that make it fun each day. I'm thankful for the challenges I face, and the strength that God gives me to endure them. I'm thankful for coming out a better person each time. I'm thankful for the easy pregnancy and healthy baby... I CAN'T wait to meet her... I'm thankful for being able to smile. Thankful for all the free yummy drinks I get from my morning job, thankful but sometimes regretful for the pastries I get there too.
I'm thankful for the future that has yet to be unveiled, the one with so much potential.
I'll be back again soon :)

Goosebumps in Thailand?

Did not think this was possible considering I've done nothing but sweat since I got off the plane... but today proved me wrong.

I got goose bumps, and am now wearing sweats.

One of the students here is a cross country runner and wants to run, every morning, so of course I promised I would help him fulfill that need... really wish I would think before I speak sometimes.

Fortunately it was raining this morning, so I got the extra hour of sleep that I so deeply wanted. But the rain never stopped and I had the whole day to mentally prepare for a muddy, rainy run. I did a great job preparing and was really excited to go. This time the student bailed... but a new friend did not, and off we went.

Muddy is an understatement... wet is a good description. There were a couple stops we took to take in the beauty that we were surrounded by, and also to catch our breath.

Goose bumps and chills did not stop until I put on my sweats.

Another amazing run... another amazing day :)

Today was a good day

I finally got eight hours of sleep last night... My body is still trying to decide if that was a good thing or not. Funny how you can get more tired from resting...

We all lost four good friends today... Well two of them left yesterday to lead a trip and two left this morning to spend a weekend in Laos with some of the two weekers. The base and I will be very lonely without them. Even though my day was missing a good amount of laughing and pranks it was still an amazing day... I couldn't stop thinking about how blessed I am to be here, to be doing the things that I'm doing, meeting the people that I'm meeting and making the friends that I'm making.

The day started off by being left behind for the temple tour. Sounds bad, but it was a good thing in disguise. I got in some good alone time walking from the wrong temple to the right temple :)

The new students are super rad... smart, interested and there are twins!

Sarah (one of the counselors) had a great idea to get a coconut off one of the base trees. Initially we planned on climbing the tree ourselves, and after much thought we decided it would be better to let one of the locals do it. The idea turned into a coconut harvest (thanks to A's monkeyness)... After fishing 5 coconuts out of the pond we opened them up and filled two pitchers with coconut water and a plate full of meat... Zico's got nothing on these guys

The service project for village health today was awesome as well... We visited a clinic where the director put together a power point presentation for us. This could have easily been the most boring thing the students had ever suffered through but they stayed focused and asked really great questions. The nurses served us coffee, water and cookies.... Amazing hospitality

Then the director decided that we needed to visit a local organic farm... We didn't see any garden, but really enjoyed the pet birds. One in particular was all black with a yellow collar and a large yellow beak. It literally repeated everything we did... laughing, coughing, greeting us and singing to us... We spent at least 30 minutes hanging out with this guy.

Thai games was next, which is always a good time...

Fear factor... the kids eat gnarly stuff... crickets, worms, snake skin, dog, chicken fetus and fish paste... I'm very proud to say that the two girls that won are in my hong... Holla bamboo's!!

The night ended with a papaya face mask, an early bedtime and deep sleep... I'm not sure I ever want to leave...

thai time

Appropriately titled for two reasons... first, thai time does not follow an actual time line. It varies from thai to thai. One thai will be pretty close to the time frame promised, while another has absolutely no concept of time. Last week I experienced this multiple times... one incident in particular I will share because it was a serious lesson on patience. I'm a pretty punctual person, hate being late. I had things to do, and places to be one particular morning and needed to go shopping for project supplies. (I'm very important here)

Some friends plus one of the thai staff came along. No big deal. We took a student to the airport to catch her flight home, and the thai staff wanted to stop by her home to pay bills. This was totally ok since we all really wanted to see her home, and also because it was "right around the corner". Thai distance is similar to thai time. After a 30 minute car ride, we arrived. Her village was awesome with a huge pond/small lake in the middle. Her home was really cool too... we were only slightly stressed until she brought out 6 photo albums. Then we knew this was not going to be a quick trip...

To cut the story short... a 2 hour shopping trip turned into a 4 hour adventure. One of those adventures where you may just lose it, but look back and can't do anything but laugh.

Second... I planned on writing this about a week ago... thai time is wearing off on me

this one's for my mama

Happy Father's Day!! To all the amazing dads out there... your job is irreplaceable. Much much love to all of you and the amazing role you play in your kids life's.... Thank You!!

Ok... since we spoke last, we've planted rice, spent time at the orphanage (where I learned an awesome thai kids dance and got my hair did), gone to the statue garden (crazy fish feed), spent too much time at markets (mostly because I always forget to bring money) and I attempted another run.

Things are good... too good actually. I am experiencing so much more than I thought I would, learning a ton about life... really wish that I could bring the thai culture back to america...

This is a video from our training... a little glimpse into the amazingness

First attempt at running...

630 am wake up

humid but not too hot

full confidence in where we are going

awkward stares (they don't run here, it's a foreign concept)

15 minutes in and we're already lost in the middle of a giant ricefield (a wrong turn was taken somewhere)

thankful that "lassy" tagged along and scared off the local dogs

un-thankful that lassy also enjoyed sneak attacking from behind and pushing us into the ricefields

not worried about eventually finding our way back but worried about not getting back in time to wake up the students for breakfast

finally find the road

5 minute sprint to our new home

purple in the face and soaking wet

720am swim in the pool

success

Rice fields and smiling folks...

Soooo.... I love Thailand. The longer I'm here the more I want to stay here. The thai people never stop smiling, I've worn my shoes maybe 25% of the time, geckos are plastered all over the walls, the sky is insanely beautiful (you wouldn't believe what the clouds look like) and Americans can pretty much get away with anything.

I'm learning a few thai words, mostly so that I don't stick out like a giant sore thumb amongst the crowd of well traveled individuals that I work with... but also because the language is beautiful. It's good comic relief to listen to the "pharong" (foreigners) start to talk in short english... for example... You smile is good.... you like cricket?... it so hot... so when i go back to the states don't be surprised if you catch me talking like this.

The last week we've done team training... I think I mentioned it in the last blog... team training also included plenty of team bonding which in turn leads to sleepless nights and beyond exhausted days. I have no idea how i'm up functioning enough to write this blog right now... I can't justify napping though, not when I'm in such an amazing place with some of the most interesting people I've ever met.

The first group of teens got in today... the second group gets in tomorrow, From what I can gather a typical week goes something like this:

Thursday- arrival/departures

Friday-intro to Thai cultures

Sat-Wed- service/adventure things

I will be at the ricefields for 5 weeks. That's where I am now... I'm helping to lead the village health care program that is ran out of here. We go into local villages and the teens get hands on experience taking blood pressure, testing blood sugar and figuring out blood types. Then I will lead an Amazing Thailand trip for one week, followed by the Elephant conservation camp for a week, then head to Laos to lead the Mystical caves and shamans for a week and then back at the ricefields for 2 weeks before I head home.

We have been told too many times to count that things change at the drop of a dime here though so all I can do is pray and beg to keep my schedule the way it is...

alive and well :)

I made it to Thailand.... Udon Thani, Thailand to be exact. It's absolutely beautiful here and well worth the 22 hr+ trip.
I got in to the Ricefields yesterday sometime around noon along with 4 others (I'm staying in the garden room). A lot of the rustic pathways staff has been here since yesterday, and we were quickly embraced by them. I met them all in a matter of 30 minutes. Learning that many names + lack of sleep + terrible memory = having to ask them their names over and over again... but it's ok, we've all established that the general attention grabber "hey, hey you" will be used often in the upcoming days.
But I did get to remember my room mates names: Haley, Gaia, Shae. These girls all have really interesting stories and I'm inspired by them. Lucky to be rooming with them.
After lunch, and nice long meeting to go over our duties as a service leader (the responsibilities are a little overwhelming...) I was finally able to catch up on some much needed sleep. I could barely hold a conversation and decided that this was not the first impression that I'd like to leave people with.
Rested and ready, we all met up to take songthaews into town. This was the best 15 minute public transport ride I've ever been apart of... imagine bumping thai pop, 10 outgoing strangers and a impromptu dance off. I didn't want it to end.
Then we got to the market. Each group was given a list of items we needed to purchase, some being much easier than others. (the game was intended to teach us how to use receipts, recording items bought...). One of the items was a throwing star, which our group was the only one to find. We asked a lady where we could find one, and with a wave of her finger she quickly pulled out a black box from under her table and layed out a variety of some serious ninja weapons. It was very blackmarketish...
We got back around 11pm and I quickly retired to my room. My intentions for this trip is to be a yes girl... but a yes girl is no fun without a good nights rest... today I'll start :)
...forgot to mention the storm... first one on the first day and it was awesome. Lightning, thunder, pouring rain like I've never seen before and just like that... done... it did hinder the volleyball game that was in the works, but it's forgivable.

quick note about oklahoma...

for everyone out there that thinks oklahoma is the armpit of america let me see if I can change your mind... (unless your not into the whole ranch/farm life idea)

Driving down an old dirt road to my parents house that overlooks a valley, occupied by other family members is what the picture directly above shows... two of the boys were outside playing catch with their dad, meg (another cousin) was riding her horse in the pasture and the dogs came running towards us to say hello :)

After I showered (which I was waiting to do since the night before) we walked down to the lower home and had dinner with everyone to celebrate my mom and 3rd cousins' birthday. By the time we walked home it was getting dark outside and the fireflies came out... fireflies are definitely one of god's most creative creations!

Well... if I didn't convince you to think more highly of this amazing place, I won't apologize... cause I still love it!

still love to travel...

it's 520am and I think I've gotten 3 shabby hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. Doesn't sound too bad, unless you know me, and know that I LOVE my sleep.

My final day in SLO was great: said goodbye to my roommate (sorry nelson, I thought you were still sleeping :( ), packed up the rest of my stuff, parked my car in the garage at the school I work at for safe keeping, taxied my way to the train station and then scored a later ticket on the train that went all the way to Oakland (instead of having to switch to a bus). Since I had extra time I made my way to this amazing little coffee shop called sally loo's and spent the next two hours tying up loose ends, and of course, facebooking (i feel like I shouldn't admit that...)

Then I took an incredible train ride up north and began finding out little details that were going to make my night much less enjoyable than I had planned. One of my fav people, kial joy, was going to house me last night in SF and then take me to the airport in the morn... that is until her fictional (by fictional I mean amazing beyond belief) boyfriend surprised her with a trip to LA. I tried to convince her that there is nothing good in LA... but it didn't work. So no big, I just hop on the bart and go straight to the airport... I've always wanted to experience a night in the airport... to make it a little nicer I purchased a one day pass into the Delta Lounge... I felt pretty cool buying that. But quickly felt real dumb when I found out it's actually not open 24hrs, closes before I get to the airport, doesn't open till 5am.

Again... no big (I said that a lot last night, gotta keep the spirits up), I sleep, check my bags then go hang out and shower... oh how I need to shower.

Slept (kind of), checked bags, got through security, cannot wait to shower... cannot find the delta lounge...

It's back on the other side of security... damn

So I leave the terminal, go upstairs to the delta lounge an hour early and play brick breaker to pass the time. Finally it opens... and there are no showers!!!!!! lol... but there is some great coffee and some yum oatmeal :)

And here I am... 530am now, blogging about my travels... and reminding myself that this is all part of gods humor and he's seriously testing my patience... I think I passed... I think :)

One week away... ONE week away... holy shit.
I'm nervous, will not lie about that... but the excitement of spending two months in a foreign country away from my real life is far more exciting!
One of my closest girlfriends, Marisa Mastro, just left me. She came up to SLO to visit for a couple days which I can't be grateful enough for. Not just because she's hilarious and I love her... but because without her I wouldn't have been able to pack up all my stuff and move it to a storage unit... I barely did it with her!
We packed the following: a large couch, love seat, my bed, dinning room table and numerous boxes...
We then unpacked everything into a tiny storage room. I was pretty positive that I grossly underestimated the amount of things I own. But... but... we fit everything inside. Amazingly... this thing was packed top to bottom, front to back.
(we were singing beyonce's rule the world song for the rest of the night, very fitting)
I was approved for my own apartment the other day. One bed/one bath. 3 blocks from downtown and 1/2 mile from work. I'm going to be in heaven!
My life is so undeserving of God's amazing grace. But that's the beauty of it all...

avoiding adulthood for a couple months longer

So... about a year and a half later, I am back! I new from the day I started this blog that it wouldn't last long...
But I am trying it again, and for good reason. In a little over a week away from going to Thailand for two months. A friend of mine, Tyler Elick, works for an amazing company called Rustic Pathways. I'll spare you all the details and just say that I got hired to work over the summer leading high school kids in different service projects... Tyler deserves a HUGE thank you, because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for him...
Anywho... I'm starting up the blog to update family and friends (you guys).
And until next week comes around I'll be trying to keep stress levels down while packing, moving, finding a home for when I return...
And praying that blogging has a steep learning curve for your sake :)